Will remote work make you lonely?
What if you don't have enough human connection at work because you're never talking to anybody and everything is written and asynchronous?
I’m enjoying podcasting again. I’ve recorded six episodes of the Debugging Work podcast so far. Every conversation has been a treat for me and the initial feedback from listeners has been encouraging.
In the first episode, I asked remote-work advocate Sergio Pereira for his advice to people who are working from home in an async culture and then end up feeling like they don't have enough human connection
at work because they're never talking to anybody and everything is written and asynchronous:
I think that happens a lot. I also feel historically people have overindexed to extract all of their social life from work, which I think is a bug, not a feature. It's a byproduct of a messed up work culture, which I think employers have incentivized over the years because the more ties you build with your workspace, the less likely you are to leave, even if you are not promoted or you don't get the raise or your manager doesn't treat you well. You have those bonds sort of tying you to that workplace. I think in remote work, it's more difficult to foster those types of ties. So it's very common for people to feel more detached, which I think for a great part is actually pretty good because people are kind of free to seek socialization outside of work.
This has been true for me. I’ve poured a lot of myself into work/career-related activities through the years and relied on professional relationships to do double duty as social connections.
When I worked remotely earlier in my career, my kids were young so my social life was interwoven with their social lives. Then I had quite a few years with office mates.
Since March 2020, though, I’ve worked from home full time and my kids are emerging adults with independent social lives.
Since January 2024, I’ve been a solopreneur with a minimal meeting load, which has made me more cognizant than ever of the importance of maintaining social connections. You might remember that the World Health Organization launched a commission on loneliness and social connection in 2023, calling it a pressing health concern.
So look after your health. Invite some friends out for lunch. Take a walk with your partner. Volunteer for something. Join a team or club. It’s important.
Would you mind replying? I’d love to know: What are you doing to safeguard your social health? What’s been most rewarding? What’s been a dud?
- Derek Hatchard (👋 from my home office)
On a counter though, I do feel I made very true and meaningful connections to people at work that carried on past our time together.
I tend to view friendships as proximity bias - eg we tend to be friends with schoolmates, neighbors, co-workers and people we see frequently.
From my perspective I always thought that I’d likely be friends with most people I interact with day to day if only we were in closer proximity - and thus it’s easier for me to assume friendship from the start.